I didn't wake up for sahur again today. And since I'm supposed to be the one who wakes everyone else, my housemates didn't either... =__= And now I'm hungry~ Damn, how did it suddenly turn out to be me who have to go and wake other people? Am I the only one in the house who is NOT immune to the alarm clock? Come on man, I have to set my alarm at three intervals just to make sure that I wake up no matter what. I plan to sahur at 4am everyday, so I'll set my alarm at 3.45am, 4am and 4.15am so that I can be sure the alarm will go off three times because I'm one of those who will never press on 'snooze' whether I'm awake or not. I can't help but straight away press 'stop', even when I plan on closing my eyes for a few more minutes and hoping for the alarm to go off again in a few minutes. Just to be on the safe side, let's just create plenty of alarms, right?

But them, hmm~ Everytime I was preparing my own sahur, I will definitely catch the sound of their own alarms going off, but I guess sleeps can really make you deaf~ =_=' So if it's not me who wakes up first, then no one else will...

Yesterday my class was full. From 10am till 6pm straight, one-hour break only. Gosh, two lectures, one tutorial and one PASS session all in one day can really make my head cramp. And my Monday was as busy as Tuesday. Moday classes starts at 12pm and ends at 6pm, with NO breaks at all. Two busy days in a row, and now I have a headache which I don't know how to get rid of. And since my stomach is empty at the moment, it's making the headache much worse. Maybe that's why I couldn't wake up for sahur today, even when I purposely slept a little early than usual. *sigh*

Well, let's just hope I'll be able to finish what I plan to do today since it's a free day for me. No class, yipppeee!!~ But I have 3 tests to settle and FOUR 2-hour-lectopias to revise. My headache just got worse.

But hey, Changmin is always here to cheer me up! ^___^



OMG at the high notes!! And just look at the way he chews his food... =D Makes me wanna chew on my tongue~ (since we can't eat while fasting hahahhh!)
I just love how the Japanese makes the videos~ ;D

Labels: maxchangmin, Ramadhan, Spazz, videos

Labels: dbsk, maxchangmin, pics, Spazz

Hmm, I'm not exactly sure if my decision to re-start stalking soompi was a good decision. Oh yes, the news and the comments you can read from there might be hotter than the fire from your stove. But it hunts you down to the deepest parts of your skin. I'm telling you, if you do not wish to turn out a super hard-core fan of somebody, never enter this place. Either you'll get dizzy, or your insides just starts to heat up for numerous reasons!

So now we proceed to the point. You remember when allkpop released the news about JaeChunSu attending MAMA? Seriously I thought that was a joke, since not all allkpop news can be trusted. You know what I mean, right? (What the hell, all their news were tagged 'Rumours' when posted in other sites!) But yeah, JaeChunSu did attend that MAMA thing after all and they even won an award for God's sake. I don't know how to convey my feelings on this.. but.. an award!!! I thought, since they haven't been active in Korea at all since July, the chances of my own eyes seeing them receive some award on stage in 2009 was totally impossible. But look at them! THE BEST ASIA STAR! It's like a Daesang award or something! Or even better than that!!! I was shocked, happy, sad, and excited for all the possible reasons!

And that's when the more rough comments comes into view. I don't mean it in a bad way. All comments on soompi are a bit scary to me. That's why I never leave one eversince I registered~ XD

SM did not approve them being TVXQ representative. =.=

I won't quote anybody else's comments, neither will I speak about this in particular. This is not a problem of the award. This.. is the problem.. of this f*cking *sshole agency. There you go, I cursed out of my will. Until this day, I still cant figure out what's wrong with that stupid brain of SM. I think neither of us can. A lot of question raised in my head just now so I think I'm gonna answer my own questions here.

1. What is SM thinking?
Right, first of all, of course all they can think about is money. It's business, it's only natural that businessmen craves money and supernormal profit. And for SM, TVXQ brings them a whole LOT more than supernormal profit. I think they can live without other artists as long as TVXQ stays with them. So it's also only natural that SM will think of tricky things to achieve this goal. Seriously, all businessmen do that. Bring clients to dinner, sweet talk, give special/expensive/limited edition gifts etc to make them happy and keep the money going in~ and when things starts to get bad for their company, they use their partners to destroy the marketing of that rival, they can use black market, degrade the value of the rival's shares, say bad things about them so that consumers won't want to buy their products. All that for one purpose: to grab all the profits for themselves. Well, they can do whatever they want to make TVXQ stay with them (in order for them to grab those profits). But they just had to do it the right way. Or are they doing this for a completely different reason?

2. Why are they uploading official videos on youtube all of a sudden?
Hmmm, I had thought that this might be an action of reconciliation of some sort. To show related parties that this will be how far they will go but they will surely not stop until the three members surrender. Fine. But after the article about SM did not approve of the three representing TVXQ, that's done it. I think I will never put anything good beside SM anymore. Never shall there be any reconciliation nor will there be any good thing coming from those ugly, bad breathed mouth. So that leaves me with one still-unanswered question. But just a wild guess, I think SM is trying to gain the fans' trust back (or is that what they might call it?), because most of the fans of TVXQ are also fans of other SM artists. And fans of other SM artists are also watching SM's actions closely and compare this situation if it might happen to their idol. So if SM keep on boycotting the boys on youtube like that, they might continue losing these precious people who are the source of SM's pocket money. It's a good reason to hate SM (for non-TVXQ fans) when the agency does not credit their own artist at all, and all this over the fuss of an unequal pay? For the love of God.. it's not that the pay is not enough. SM weren't even paying them at all since February! And why haven't SM say anything to deny this?

3. The CreBeau issue
Aishh, I still think this is the lousiest distraction a businessmam can ever think of. Earlier this year, when they were having their day offs, we can still remember the news of them going to China to sign some sort of contract with CreBeau. I can still remember that the article mentioned that these members will act as one of the Board Directors for the company. I didn't pay much attention to it then because I never expected this to happen now, but yeah, that's what they say. It wasn't official though. You know how reporters/fans can be when they're spreading some news. They get over-excited over a few sentence and misinterprate it all-together. So I will not say that the members actually being one of the Board Directors is a solid truth from back then. And so when time passed and the lawsuit began, yeah, SM blamed Crebeau for it. And JaeChunSu denied it, and Crebeau threatened to reveal the truth if SM does not apologise, blah blah blahhh (you know the story). At this point, everyone goes 'DIE SM', 'SM GO TO HELL', TAKE THAT YOU BASTARD SM!' etc etc~ We were all happy to see that a huge party like CreBeau are also blaming SM for everything. Our circle has just expanded! But now, when the news on CreBeau sueing JaeChunSu was released.. *sigh* has the world turn around in half a second? Where did all that strength go? One minute they were saying SM were to blame for their loss and the next they are sueing JaeChunSu to compensate for their loss. What the hell? Well, only one thing crossed my mind. SM must be behind this. They must've contacted CreBeau and instructed them to do it, and in return, who knows what SM is giving them, or HOW MUCH.. Another SM's dirty plan.

4. The Shenzhen Concert cancellation
This was the worst of the worst news a Cassie can ever receive. I even had a dream of going to this concert and how I was dead jealous when people announced that they are attending this concert. It was, after all, what was told to be the last stop for the Mirotic Tour. The next tour might be AGES from now if the lawsuit doesn't end soon, and Malaysia might not be on the lists again! >.< And I was so proud to believe that TVXQ is the only artist that has successfully conquered various stages on the Asian Land. And they shall continue making us proud and keep performing on stage and make more money for themselves, for their own hardwork. Besides, it's the only formal platform for international fans to show their love and never-ending support for TVXQ. And BHAM! it got cancelled. And to think that it was on the very last minute, when all the tickets (concert tickets, flight tickets), hotels, visas were already settled.. Just think how much those costs. And even a first class of everything will not be the nearest equal to the loss of not being able to see TVXQ on stage as five again. I bet those Shenzhen supporter had prepared much much more than those Miduhyo banners. And the boys might never see it..
So enough on the fans side. What about the boys? I can only think that SM is the ugliest BASTARD this Earth has ever had to endure. Seriously, they sold the tickets BEFORE the Chinese government released the permit? And they signed the contract when the lawsuit already began! And not even with the member's signatures! Well.. yeah.. it was mentioned that artists can do stuff like signing for other people since the artists themselves might be busy and all that (I don't even know if that's true!).. But still, they didn't inform TVXQ about the contract, let alone its details! And the details were all they were asking for before they will agree on going to Shenzhen for the concert. Just give them the DAMN details! What's so difficult about that? Unless SM is really hiding something, like the allocation of profits of stuff, who gets the credits of what and etc.. This really shows that SM is not an honest agency. Seriously, I envy JYP artists (sorry for comparing). JYP is a really nice agency (according to myself). Eventhough their place is a bit small (the practice room I saw when I was watching 2PM's rehearsals) compared to SM's, I just think that Park JinYoung is a really nice person. And he steps out to the crowd HIMSELF to announce important things to the fans. That is more respectable and very adorable.. If only SM is as honest and as hardworking as our beloved TVXQ boys.. How come they can forge such a tremendous group, when they themselves is being such an *sshole? =.=

5. HoMin issue?
Seriously, I don't even want to talk about this. But this one person has suddenly stirred the soompi thread with a hurtful comment, I think I should let you know my thought as well. Everyone knows I'm a HUGE Changmin fan right. I was glad that Changmin is still doing his activities. And was saved from all the lawsuit troubles. But that was only the minor part of it. Can you imagine what he's thinking right this second? When JaeChunSu appeared on stage to take the award? Yunho too.. We always ask, why didn't they go on the lawsuit together? I have a few answers to that. At first I thought that they wanted to keep a neutral bond once they are back with SM after the lawsuit is settled. I mean, they must've discussed this thing with all the members and their decision is always for the best of their fans, Cassiopeia, right? That's the only thing they care most in their career as singers! So there should never be a question of selfish around HoMin. If you do have this question, that means you're not a good enough fan of TVXQ. You do not know them well to understand them. You were too engulfed with teir good looks and great music, but you never knew them as persons. Which is such a great loss for you.
And now that I think about it again, I think the purpose of HoMin staying with SM is perhaps to show the fans that TVXQ is not floating around the air and going to disperse anytime. Just imagine, we are very scared at the thought of them disbanding. Just imagine if all of them are in the lawsuit, and we can see the ties between them and SM is totally gone, like they will have nowhere else to go, how would we feel? Yeah they can switch to other agencies or start their own company, but guys, that's a whole lot of trouble and might cause the fans a few more years to see them active again.. As what Andy of Shinhwa said, it's going to be a LOT difficult to debut from another company. I don't actually know if that's true, but it's highly possible.
But in the end, whatever the reasons HoMin is holding on to, it is always for the best of us fans. That is all that we need to know, and we should always keep the faith in them. We should respect their decisions too and just wait when they are ready to explain everything. After all, we are international fans. What do we know about Korean Entertainment industry? Korean culture? Korean Economy? Our knowledge about these are very limited. So even if we know most things about HoMin, we are still limited to what they want to let us know.. And that is everything except their private lives. And we should respect that, as another human being~

"Even if 1 year passes by or 10 years pass by, we will not break up. If that does happen, kill us by throwing rocks at us."
U-Know Yunho.

6. MAMA
Why the hell does SM band this awards ceremony for? Yeah one may say that MAMA's awards are unreliable, coz mostly they are on album sales whatsoever, but that's not a good enough reason to boycott MAMA all-together! They can still attend and just be happy on the awards. So what? And when they are boycotting MAMA, why are they bringing such a huge fuss over the awards the boys took? Instead of stating that the award was invalid (or just saying that the award does not mean anything significant to them), they accused that JaeChunSu did not deserve to go on stage to take the award (and MAMA should've contacted SM to provide a representative). Duhh, you don't approve of their awards but you declared such nonsense statement. So you want to say that the award are worth receiving then? So you're not boycotting anymore?

7. Will we ever see them as 5 again?
OH HELL YES!! Don't you ever ask that question again. The only thing that matters now is time. If SM did not create so much drama over the lawsuit right now, I think the lawsuit might be over much more quickly and peacefully, and we will see them as 5 again in no time! That is why all of us think SM is such an assh*le. If you have a reason for it, just state it out loud already! Why are you being such a coward and manipulate situations instead? Wasting time and money, and you'll be the one asking for compensation later. Are they trying to get more compensation by lengthening the lawsuit? Garghhhh! Okay, I'm not a lawyer so I don't exactly know how lawsuits work. What I know is that people might use this oportunity to get more pays (the lawyers), and nothing else (that I can think of right now)..


That's it. I'm gonna stop right there for now. I have so much more to say but those things just won't come out. If I force them, I might only be talking in circles. So, please always keep the faith. Stay with the boys because that is what they need right now. Upon SM's doings, some of the new fans already gave up, and that's a heart-breaking scene for me. If only they knew the boys better... Some regretted entering this fandom. I know it's their choice, but if they've given up upon their own will, that's fine by me, but when it's because of SM's stupid butt-ugly rumours, I just want to kill those people involved. >.< I just hope that the rest of us keep on supporting the boys along with the Korean Cassies, because we don't want them to disappear from the Asian market right? We still want them to soar to Europe and perhaps even America! =) So it is up to us, the international fans now, to always keep the faith, as much as what the Korean Cassies are doing now. ^^

Thank you for reading my ridiculous rambling. I just had things to say even when some of you are already bored of reading the details of this lawsuit, and also sorry for the cursing words. hahaa~ Miahne and Kamsahamnida~ =D

Labels: dbsk, herojaejoong, maxchangmin, mickyyoochun, Spazz, uknowyunho, xiahjunsu

Title : Hearts Unspoken To
Main characters : Changmin + Nuki + a tiny bit of Yunho
Genre : Drama + Romance
Rated : PG
Author : Nuki
Note : This is the sequel for Unspoken Heart. I’ve decided to make one since Yuna and I didn’t want Changmin to walk away empty handed and to let him know that he can always start on a new love even if it was arranged at the beginning. Besides, I just had to give Changmin to myself for some reasons~XD
Summary : After both of his best friends departed for Europe, Changmin couldn’t decline the post his father has set up for him in the company. Thus, he had imagined a very ordinary routine in the office though it wasn’t as what he has expected. On the first day, he was introduced to a very peculiar female who will work directly from him. There’s absolutely no way for both of them to be on the same ground even once and that annoyed him. But unknown to him, his father has set up more plans for him than he could ask for…

TAKE 1 I t W a s D e s t i n y

It has been weeks since he was at the airport waving goodbye to the two lovebirds who were also his childhood friends. He always tells himself that big boys don’t cry, but seeing how other people at the airport were sending off their friends and relatives with tears, he just had to join the club.

Tears of a man are rare but it is as priceless as the pearls in the ocean. He couldn’t help but smile at his own thoughts.

So there he was, laying down in bed and staring focused at the plaster-ceiling as if it was a map towards a hidden treasure. His eyes were fixed to one spot, but his thoughts were scattered. If it was months ago, he could be hanging out with Jaejoong and Yuna at one of their favourite restaurants in town right now. But today, he was absolutely clueless on what he could do for the rest of the evening.

Then he remembered… There was a time when he sat over-looking a lake and talked to Yuna about his plans for the future. He hadn’t actually meant that he had no idea on what he wanted to do. He had everything planned to the roots. He was ready to create a Talent Agency Company of his own, where he would search for fresh talents and market them to the public. He had the eye of beating SM Entertainment as the best agency in Korea. But that dream has been crashed with the hands of his father who threatened to use his influence to degrade that new company six feet underground once it starts to gain attention from fellow businessman. It will be totally impossible to develop the new company with such support from his father. Truthfully, Changmin knew his father couldn’t afford to lose his talents to anyplace else in the economy. Changmin already had his father’s company’s signature plastered on his forehead ever since he entered university.

Thus, he had no choice but to accept his throne in the office starting tomorrow.

It couldn’t be that bad, right?


TAKE 2 T h e I n t r u d e r

It was too early when the alarm clock went off. Several groans and kicks were heard and visible from the lump on the bed. A hand started to crawl from under the heavy blanket in search for a button which seemed to be furthering away from the creepy fingers. The hand soon gave up and a head suddenly appeared with closed eyes, narrowed eyebrows and dangerously ruffled hair.

“Shut up…” his lips mumbled. He searched side-ways, trying to make sense of where he was and finally caught the sight of the annoying Mr. Alarm Clock. He intended for a slap when his palm landed on the button and the room instantly quieted. He let out another groan and slump back under the blankets, covering himself from head to toe.

It didn’t even last a second when his room was being intruded by the maid who had an ice-cream bell in her hands. “Time to wake up, sir. It’s your first day of work!” And the bell went off, deafening his ears.

He grunted helplessly. “Yah, why am I being treated like a school kid,” he continued mumbling under his breath and roughly took off the blanket that was covering his body before pulling himself up from the bed. The maid gave a little shriek at the sudden sight of Changmin’s nicely built upper body and ran out of the room with a tomato head.

“What’s up with her?” he uttered as he brought his left hand up and rubbed his left eye while he was still eyeing the wide-opened door. “Thank you for leaving my door open!” he called out seconds later.

He then turned to check the time again before forcing himself to get out of bed and closed the door. He had to drag his feet all over the room with sleepy eyes and he couldn’t even remember if he had put the toothpaste on before brushing his teeth. He ended up brushing his teeth twice. His closet didn’t help him either. All the colours looked the same that he had trouble in finding a matching tie for his shirt. And when he arrived at the dining table, his father had already finished his toast and was already at the sports section of the newspaper.

“Good morning,” his father greeted over his cup of coffee.

“Morning…” he replied and took a seat on his father’s left. As soon as he was seated, the kitchen’s maid came to him and poured him his favourite cup of tea. He mouthed a little thank you and grabbed a toast from the bread’s basket and spread some peanut-butter paste on one side before shoving it into his mouth.

Breakfast seemed a bit dull. Everyone minded their own businesses for the whole fifteen minutes before Mr Shim was told that the car’s ready. Changmin had to leave his 5th piece of toast half-touched when his father insisted that they go to the office together.

“But I’ll be driving myself starting tomorrow, okay,” Changmin insisted back which Mr Shim gave no replies to.

Both of them sat quietly at the back of the Mercedes, looking outside the windows for something entertaining to watch. The road was quite busy in the morning that Changmin ended up looking into other people’s cars until its driver noticed him and gave him a flat face. Other than that, there were only trees and stone buildings.

It took them about an hour to reach his father’s building.

“Meet me at the conference room at 10 sharp for the introductory meeting. I have a few people that I want to introduce you to.”

Changmin gave a simple nod before following his secretary towards his office.

“This is your room, sir. And I am Jung Yunho, your appointed secretary. Just let me know if you need anything,” the man spoke as soon as they were inside his room.

“Yes. Thank you,” Changmin accepted the hand-shake that was interrupted by his father a moment ago.

“I’ll be back with your schedule, sir.”

Changmin nodded and watched as the tall man walked out of the room. He then circled the spacious room which was filled with expensive furniture and decorations. Everything was in black and while except for the carpet he was standing on, which was the tone of the lightest baby blue. He thought that the sofa looked comfortable and the flowers on the coffee table were very artistic. He even admired his own table and the painting on the wall. He walked further and took a seat behind his table and was immediately captivated by the sky-high view from his windows. He chuckled. His father always knew how to please him so that he won’t be running away again. If only his father didn’t spend too much on this room and increased the bonus of the workers instead.

Soon enough, it was time for the meeting. Yunho faithfully escorted him towards the conference room with several files in his hands. Changmin wondered if Yunho was actually very dedicated to his job or that he was just afraid of him. He is, after all, the Chairman’s only son.

He was glad that he arrived on time. There were several people already waiting in the room which he could only reply to their smiles and nods. The Chairman entered the room a few minutes after him.

“Welcome to the Board of Directors weekly meeting. This will be a quick one since it’s a very hectic week for the company. I know most of you still have several tenders to revise and project payments to claim before the end of the day,” Mr Shim began as he scanned the floor for missing persons. “But I’m afraid we have to wait for one more person to arrive.”

“I’m here!” suddenly a female barged into the room looking slightly flushed after the rush from the elevator. With a few files securely placed in her arms, she bowed to the whole meeting room in apology. Changmin couldn’t help but scan her from head to toe. He was curious as to what post this girl is holding. There was a lot of authority present around this girl who he figured might be in her 20s just like him. Her posture and wardrobe were very corporate-like and her manners were slightly odd in his eyes. He just hoped that none of his work will be connected with this person. He’s already tensed just by looking at her.

As soon as the girl took her seat, Mr Shim continued the meeting. “So to begin, as I’ve promised, I’d like to introduce you to our new Vice President, Shim Changmin.”

A round of applause was heard. Changmin stood up and beamed politely to everyone. Then his eyes landed on her, who didn’t even pay attention to him let alone putting her hands together at the important announcement. Instead, she was pretending to be busy writing in her organiser with her legs crossed and her back comfortably leaning on the chair’s backrest. Changmin instantly felt annoyed and sat back down with a sour smile on his face.

“And this,” Mr Shim turned towards the late intruder, “will be our new Head of Divisions, Ms Nuki.”

Upon this awaited opportunity, Changmin pretended not to hear anything and simply stared at the pen he was playing between his fingers. He could guess that Ms Nuki knew what he was trying to do when he saw the smirk in her eyes as she was sitting down.

“Wait, what??”


TAKE 3 S u r r e n d e r

It was a disaster. The first few weeks of his working career turned out to be exactly the opposite of what he had expected. Without even warning him, his father has selected a new Head of Divisions for the company, who could also be known as the Deputy Vice President. He didn’t know what his father was thinking bringing two fresh graduates into the Board at the same time and appointing both of them with such important roles! Well, of course he himself would be an exception since the company was practically his after all. But bringing in a person like her is simply unacceptable. If he was the Chairman next week, he would gladly dismiss that rude girl and replace the post with another decent man, with job experience.

Changmin sat in his chair and gazed at the thundering grey clouds outside. He was glad that nature agreed with him. A heavy sigh left his lips as he resumed his focus on the revised accounts that was scattered on the table. All of them were records of the month’s income and spending which has been revised twice by the Finance Division. He was supposed to approve them and send them back to his secretary so that he can submit them to the Chairman for the final approval. However, he noticed that something wasn’t right in one of the statements that he decided to look through for mistakes or fraud. It was a bit confusing to look and make sense of the accounts but he was a logical thinker. It may take him some time but he will definitely finish this by the end of today.

“Sir, Ms Nuki is here to see you,” a voice came after a few knocks on the door.

“It’s alright. Send her in.”

Yunho nodded and opened the door wider for the young lady to enter. Changmin could immediately recognise the perfume she had on. If it wasn’t being worn by her, he would’ve been captivated by the smell which will naturally pull his eyes towards the face and the sexy figure of the possessor. But since it was her, he was completely immune that he wasn’t even tempted to leave the sight of the confusing accounts to greet the girl.

“I’ve asked you to leave a copy of the revised Leon tender on my table this morning. But I can’t find it.” She sat down on the sofa and crossed her legs as if the room was hers.

Changmin didn’t bother to pay attention to this girl. Though, he still had to act normal and boss-like in front of her. “You can’t find it because I did not submit any copies to you.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Why should I when that project is mine? Lee Young Jae is my client and you have absolutely no rights to interfere,” Changmin was ready for her rage if there will be any. In whatever disagreement they have so far, none of it ended with them smiling or forgiving each other. It was always the doors and tables which had to receive the physical blows from either of them. How he wished that his father could hear the deafening sounds all the way in his office at the end of the hall.

“Well, excuse me! I happen to be your deputy so I have all the rights to give any second opinions!” Her eyes shot at the guy behind the tables. “And what do you think you’re doing with all those finance statements?”

“That’s none of your business as well.”

Changmin could only imagine how red her face has become at this moment. His head was still faced down as he pretended to write endless notes inside his organiser. Her brief silence was all it takes to indicate that she was starting to feel pissed.

“Why are you always picking a fight with me?” she hissed suddenly.

“Oh, is that what I’m doing?”

Changmin slowly lifted his head, still maintaining to look superior. As he has suspected, her face was as red as ever and now there were even glitters in her eyes. Wait, are those tears?

The guy was stunned. Nuki has always appeared strong and courageous. Never once in these 3 months has he witnessed such facial expressions on her pretty face nor did he ever wish to see it. Not only that, he just noticed that she had never spoken to him like that. Their conversations had never before involved themselves as a person outside of the company. And just now she was asking why he had always picked a fight on her…

No, this is business and people would do anything to get to the top.

“Look, don’t come in here and act like my mother and just do what I’ve told you to do. Is that so hard to understand?”

“Fine.” Within seconds, she stood up and made her way towards the door. Right before she turned the knob, Nuki turned around and faced Changmin once again. “Just tell your father that I’ve decided not to come tonight.”

“Are we having something tonight?”

But before he could utter the question, the door was already closed shut. Softly, this time…


TAKE 4 T h e S u r p r i s e

“Are we expecting someone?” Changmin asked, looking over at his mother at the other end of the living room.

She peeked over the magazine that she was browsing and threw him a smile. Changmin then looked over at his father on his right for another answer, but that old man was busy playing Crosswords on the newspaper. He sighed.

Changmin was told to dress up for dinner tonight. He thought the whole family was going to meet another one of those business partners or his father had decided to celebrate the empty night at one of the expensive restaurants in town. But after 15 minutes of waiting, all of them were still seated on the same spot and Changmin was clueless on what’s happening.

He was ready to leave and head for the kitchen to fetch a carton of milk before the doorbell went off.

“They’re here,” Mrs Shim announced and got out of her seat. The magazine was thrown back onto its pile and she rushed to the mirror to check her hair while his father started to march towards the door.

Changmin froze.

As soon as the door was opened, a tall man entered the hall with an elegant woman very close to his side. Changmin slowly made his way towards the uninvited guests his parents were joyously welcoming. He had no idea who these people were but he knew he had to remain polite and focused.

“And this is our son, Changmin,” his father introduced as he got nearer.

He accepted the hand-shake and added a smile to his face. Perhaps his father trusted this business partner very much to the extent that he was willing to invite him to the house. It was only when he was about to make way for the couple to enter the living room that he caught that familiar fragrance present in the air. He immediately turned back to the door to find the last girl he would expect to meet on his doorstep.

“Ms Nuki…” he whispered unbelievingly.

The girl was in fact blushing. Changmin had no idea why, but he was again captivated by the beauty of her curves and flawless skin. The velvet blue night gown she had on made her look a lot taller and slimmer as if she was a supermodel. He had never before denied this part of her but everything was covered by her unacceptable behaviour.

“Changmin-ah,” his mother giggled from behind him. “You don’t have to use such gestures at home, darling,” she smiled meaningfully. “Well, let’s go straight to the dining table shall we. I’m sure Changmin is very hungry right now.”

Everyone else was smiling at the light humour, but Changmin was in deep thought. He wanted to grab his mother on the shoulders and shot her those many questions that were inside his head until he was given a clear answer. But his stomach was threatening him too, so he decided to just wait and see.

The elders lead the way towards the dining room were special dishes were already waiting for them. Changmin followed the group quietly while Nuki’s earlier words started to replay inside his mind.

Is this what she was talking about? If yes, then why is she here? And why are her parents here too? Or is this why his father wanted her to be his deputy, to attract this old man’s money? And she knew about it and decided to play rude around the company?

Changmin’s thoughts were endless. Soon, he was already seated and enjoying the food prepared by their cook and wasn’t paying too much attention to his parent’s conversation. They were discussing things related to the stock market, company’s divisions, links and ministers that Changmin had no interest in joining. He was just anxious to wait for the end of this dinner where his parents and the guests usually toast for the real purpose of their gathering.

Nuki was too silent though. From the moment she stepped into the house up until now, not a word was heard from her nor did she ever look at his direction even though they were facing each other at the dining table. Was it because of the presence of the elders or is she simply different tonight?

A half an hour later, everyone was back in the living room with a filled crystal glass in one hand.

“We’ve been waiting for this moment for so long,” Mr Shim began and glanced over at his wife with a wide smile. “As of tonight, our son and your daughter,” he paused and held his glass briefly towards the other couple, “are officially engaged.”

“What!?” Changmin wanted to scream but his senses held him back. Instead, he politely held up his glass along with the rest of them and took a sip of the expensive wine. Everyone seemed to have already known about it beforehand and Changmin didn’t want to ruin the atmosphere. Besides, if this is the way his father chose to tell him, clearly he has no way out. As of tonight, he’s really engaged to be married whether he agreed to it or not.

So is this the reason why Nuki acts that way all these while?


TAKE 5 L u n c h t i m e

“Yah, how are you guys? I’ve missed you two so much!” Changmin nearly shouted inside his office, a wide grin visible on his face. He pulled his laptop closer to him as he fixed his posture on the sofa. It has been a while since he was able to chat online with his two best friends in Europe and now they were live chatting.

“We’ve been having fun,” Jaejoong’s voice was heard, happy and energized. “But it won’t feel the same without you though.”

Changmin chuckled. “Of course it won’t be the same. You should’ve dragged me together that day,” he joked. “So where’s Yuna?”

“Owh, she’s in the kitchen preparing some snack. Do you want some?”

“And how do you plan to give me that?” Changmin replied with a smile.

“Through your imagination,” Jaejoong laughed.

Changmin was glad that he did not have any lunch meetings that day but now his stomach was grumbling loudly. He quickly thought of the instant soup Yunho had offered last week.

“So what’s new about you guys?” Changmin asked. Moments after, Yuna came into view on the screen with a huge bowl in her hands. “Hey, Yuna!”

“Hey!” she replied excitedly and stuffed some pop-corn into her mouth and pushed Jaejoong lightly to make way for her to get nearer to the camera. “I’ve missed you, Changmin-ah.”

“Yeah, he misses us too,” Jaejoong answered on behalf of Changmin and laughed. He didn’t want to remind himself about the affection Changmin used to have, or are still having, for his girlfriend before he answered Changmin’s question, “Well, Yuna’s been in school as usual, and my company just got approved last week!”

“Yah, that’s great, hyung! You’re starting to live your dream.”

“Yeah,” Jaejoong grinned. “And how about you?”

“Me? Well, I just got engaged last night.”

“Really??” Yuna shrieked at the news. “To who?”

Before he could answer, there were three soft knocks on the door. Changmin looked up from his laptop. It was lunchtime and most of the employees were out including his dedicated secretary. There’s no one that he could think of knocking his door at this hour.

“Er, guys, I think I need to go now. There’s someone knocking on my door.”

“Oh, I forgot it’s lunchtime over there. Aish… Well, we’ll catch you later then, Changmin-ah. And by the way, you owe us your engagement story!”

“Yeah, whatever,” Changmin smiled and ended the video call after saying goodbye. He quickly put aside his laptop and ran to his door. Slowly, the figure of a woman came into view.

“I brought you lunch,” she half-whispered to his ears.

Changmin’s eyes scanned her as if he had just met her for the first time. He couldn’t decide what he actually felt looking at her after knowing who she was.

“Come in,” he offered and opened the door wider for her to get in. He then followed as she made her way towards the sofa where he had been a minute earlier.

Without waiting for any words from him, she sat down and placed the packed food she brought on the coffee table. There was no smile on her face and there was no rage either. Her words seemed lesser and her eye-contacts were dimmed. Changmin realised that he had never given much thought about her until now.

As she started to change, Changmin’s heart started to listen.


TAKE 6 M y C o n f e s s i o n

“You told me you weren’t going to come last night,” Changmin said while munching on his food. He looked over at Nuki who was also eating the take-away food while staring at the view from the window. Never once did Nuki look at him in the eye. Changmin couldn’t decide if it was due to their engagement or was it due to Shim Changmin, but either way he didn’t favour her passiveness.

Nuki turned her gaze from the windows to the flowers on the coffee table. “I guess it’s not my decision to make.” She took another bite of the noodles and started munching again.

Changmin looked over his meal and stared at the girl in front of him. She was practically ignoring his existence in the room and quickly went over to her own world outside the window again. He took the opportunity to examine her features more thoroughly. From her hazel eyes, it went down to her nose and further down to her moist lips.

Unknown to him, he wanted to know more about her. He wanted her to communicate, and tell him how she feels. He wanted to get closer to her.

“Talk to me,” he uttered suddenly, as he searched for her beautiful eyes which was starting to turn his way.

She shot him with the most questioning look. “Talk to you about what? There’s nothing to talk about. And even if there was, it doesn’t matter anymore now.”

The hurtful look was clearly visible from her eyes. Something tugged onto Changmin’s chest and urged him to show more concern for this girl. If he didn’t, he felt as if the day wouldn’t end in one piece. Changmin held his breath and sorted his mind before deciding to crack the barrier between him and this girl.

“Please don’t be like this,” he started. “We’ve been in too much misunderstanding already as it is.”

“Then tell me, what did you see me as when you first saw me?” Nuki bluntly asked. “When I first stepped into the meeting room months before, what did you think of me?”

The guy stared into her eyes, trying to figure out if he should tell her the truth or create something that she would like to hear. At this point, Changmin didn’t think creating a story would be a wise decision. She should know what his first impressions of her are and make it clear to her that those impressions has changed as he started to get to know her. After all, this girl is not as bad as he thought she would be.

“To tell you the truth,” Changmin paused, “I hated you.”

This few simple words pierced right through Changmin’s own heart. It was a fact, but it was odd how his heart couldn’t take it. He couldn’t imagine how hers would react.

“I was very annoyed,” he continued, never leaving Nuki’s eyes as he spoke. “I thought you were one of those arrogant, spoiled rich girls that would try to overpower me. And when you didn’t even look at me, I thought you were very rude so I decided to ignore you too. Not only that, when I was told that you were my deputy, I felt very depressed.”

Nuki’s face turned sour. Instead of looking at him, her eyes gazed into space. “Just as I thought… So it’s like that, huh?” she mumbled under her breath. It might’ve sound like she was hiding her tears inside. “Well, I’m also sorry that I’ve bring you that much hatred and bad feelings.” Without waiting for any replies, she quickly stood up and started for the door.

“Wait!” Changmin half-shouted. “I’m not finished yet.”

“It doesn’t matter. You hate me. I get it.”

“Not anymore!” he felt desperate. “I didn’t know who you were to me back then.”

“Owh! So it was me being your fiancé that made you think otherwise?” Nuki turned at the door, now fired with anger. “You won’t hate your fiancé but you’ll keep on hating me, right?”

“No!” he struggled to find the right words. “I…”

For the first time in his life, he found it very hard to express his own feelings. He couldn’t understand them, let alone to describe it. But he was sure, it wasn’t a part of any feelings he had felt before. It was as if his heart was talking an unknown language, and it was getting louder as he spend more time around her. If this was love, it was completely mad. Without any reason, without warnings, and very illogical, it fired an unwelcomed spark at the bottom of his heart.

“Would you like to know why I couldn’t look at you that day?” Nuki whispered right before she stepped out of the room. “It’s because I was so nervous at the fact of meeting such a great guy like you. My heart wouldn’t stop pounding when I saw how gorgeous you are. I was restless and numb and I didn’t want you to see that in my eyes.”

And without looking back, she stormed out of the room towards her office on the other side, leaving Changmin stunned and speechless.


TAKE 7 H e r A c t O f K i n d n e s s

“Is Ms Nuki still in her office?” Changmin asked his secretary when he went in to deliver more documents to be signed.

“She went to GAMA Holdings a few minutes ago, sir, for a meeting with its Chairman. She left you a lunchbox before she left. Would you like me to bring it in now?”

Changmin held his head down. “Yes, thank you,” he uttered softly.

Yunho bowed and left the room before he came back in with a paper bag in his hands. Changmin watched as Yunho made his way to the door again.

He felt something clutched onto his heart every time a bag of lunch arrived without an early notice. Nuki knew he didn’t favour lunching outside and he always ended up not eating at all. Ever since that day, she never failed to drop him something to eat whenever he wasn’t away for a lunch-meeting. And she did this in the perfect knowledge that he once hated her, and she still believed he still does.

Changmin didn’t know what to do. Every time they were in the same room together, there won’t be any good conversations between them. It was always business matters and talks of convenience. And whenever he starts on something deeper, she will immediately leave the room. The only occasion where he could slip an act of love and care towards this girl was when they were in front of the public. Even when it appeared sincerely from his heart, she accused him of putting up a false show for the sake of the company.

Despite all that, he was sure Nuki cared for him too, perhaps much more than he cared for the girl. But he was clueless on how he could fix the wrong turns in this relationship.

He pulled the paper bag closer and peeked inside. It was home-made. He wondered if she made it herself. He asked her many times before but she always ignored the question. If only her answer was yes, Changmin felt as if he was the luckiest man alive.

It wasn’t lunchtime yet, but the subtle fragrance that came from the paper bag urged him to push aside all the documents. It had only been 24 hours but he missed the taste that lingers in his tongue after he finished the last lunch yesterday. Her lunch…

And how he wished she was there to keep him company.


TAKE 8 T h i s I s L o v e

It was awkward. A month after the engagement dinner, Mr. Shim decided to hold an official press conference to announce their relationship to the public. Even after such a long time, Nuki still haven’t shown him signs of acceptance. She was changing in all sorts of ways but she still remained cold when it comes to intimacy.

Changmin still remembered how she would always yell at him and acted bossy around him that he could die of annoyance a few months before. It was only now that he realised she was giving him hints. She wanted him to ask why. If only she knew that he was perfectly clueless back then.

“Changmin-sshi, you’re spacing out again,” Nuki whispered away from the microphone.

The reporters and journalists looked eager for something sensational to come out from his mouth. They were expecting an answer which he didn’t hear the question to. Changmin looked over to his fiancé who was looking forward with that same air of authority around her. She wasn’t going to help him.

“I’m sorry,” he began. “I was replaying our memories in my mind that I slipped over what you said. Can you repeat the question?”

“Will there be a chance of Love between the both of you?” the reporter repeated.

Changmin looked over at the ignorant Nuki before facing the crowd again. “There won’t be any chance,” he uttered calmly. “Because I’ve already fallen for her.”

Crossing his fingers, Changmin hoped Nuki didn’t take this as a false show. He wanted to seal this statement with sincere evidence, with something that cannot lie. He wanted Nuki to believe that he can’t help his overflowing affection for her anymore.

Without thinking further, Changmin stood up from his chair and pulled Nuki along with him. He never looked away, but straight at her confused eyes. He pulled her closer to him. Flashes from the cameras were blinding and everyone was tiptoeing to get a better view of what is about to happen but he ignored them. Softly, he pulled away the strands of hair that was covering her face. Nuki’s eyes were alarmed, but Changmin’s remained calm. He should’ve done this a lot sooner. With grace, he lowered his face towards hers. She tried to back away but Changmin managed to keep her still by grabbing lightly on her neck.

“I love you,” he whispered before his lips landed square on hers. The touch was subtle but it was heavy at the same time. It definitely came from his heart which was longing for assurance. It was full of his love and passion for the girl. She would be a fool not being able to read the touch which was crystal clear.

The moment Nuki realised this, she willingly allowed herself to return the kiss. Her lips parted when Changmin started to get bolder. Somehow she couldn’t help herself from enjoying the soft touch of the man’s lips. She was now sure of this man’s true feelings for her.

With reluctance, Changmin pulled away. He remained his eyes closed for a moment to savour his feelings. This wasn’t his first kiss, but it was so far the best. As he opened his eyes slowly, Nuki’s soft gaze immediately greeted him. He smiled.

It was illogical, but he supposed it was love.


TAKE 9 F i n a l e

“You took advantage of the situation,” Nuki voiced as soon as they were in a private room. The press conference ended successfully with everyone being assured of the strong bond between the merging companies.

“Yes, I did,” Changmin replied truthfully. “It’s the only way to make you realise.”

Both of them faced each other with Changmin having his hands inside his pocket and Nuki crossing her arms tightly.

“You didn’t have to do it in front of so many people.”

“And you’d allow me to approach you when we’re alone like this?” he pointed out. “You wouldn’t even look at me.”

“I was hurt,” she muttered.

“You don’t have to be.”

Nuki tried not to look at his direction. Changmin could sense that Nuki is trying to play hard-to-get. He swore he just saw the love flow from her eyes just a few minutes ago but now it was gone. As if there was a transparent wall, he could see it but he couldn’t push it away.

“What should I do to fix this?” he uttered. “From the first day, things aren’t going how it was supposed to.”

“Was that your first kiss?” she stormed suddenly.

Changmin stared deep into her eyes, trying to figure out what she actually meant.

“No,” he answered softly. It was easy to tell that she was hurt, yet again. “But it was my first with the person I love.”

The girl did not lift her head at all. “Who’s that lucky girl, the one who stole your first kiss?”

“Actually,” he began, “I am the one who stole it from her. She’s my best friend.”

And Nuki was as silent as a lonely night.

“I thought it was love,” he continued, his heart was tight but he wanted her to know. “But now I was proven wrong. My first love is right here.” He walked closer to her and took her hands.

She did not protest.

“Will you accept me now?” Slowly their gazes met. It wasn’t hard to read her emotions once she removed those invisible walls herself.

“I’m sorry for what I did to you before,” she whispered willingly. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, pretended that you weren’t there, purposely drove you mad with anger and gave you all the wrong impressions I should’ve given you.”

“I shouldn’t have been that way to you either,” Changmin chuckled. “Maybe I was mad at myself that day and that feeling dragged on for months.”

“What would you be mad at yourself for?”

“For not being able to give you my first of everything,” he smiled and pulled her in for a warm embrace. “The moment you started to distant away, that is the moment I realised I wanted you by my side for always.

“You’re too cheesy, Mr. Changmin.” Nuki giggled softly and lovingly returned his embrace.

“And by the way, don’t ever leave this fragrance. I like it,” Changmin whispered to her ears.

Nuki nodded her head with her face still leaning comfortably on Changmin’s broad shoulders.

Not much has to be said, but these two hearts has finally found the roads to connect to each other. And so they lived happily ever after… ^^


A/N: How more cheesy could I be with that stereotype Disney ending. XD

Labels: fanfic, maxchangmin, Spazz

LOL guess what i found just now.. i went on google and typed 'naver' and entered. Then it went to a site full of korean characters.. i was like>>O.O fuiyooo~~how the hell am i gonna read all these.. then i thought of playing around while i was there.. so i switched my keyboard to korean characters and typed 재종.. (i memorised these characters a long tym ago~ XD) Then i clicked and clicked and clicked without knowing what am i actually doing.. it kept on going to more pages with loads and loads of korean characters which is starting to piss me off~ but at one point, i was redirected to jaejoong's twitter page!! i cant say if its the original hero kim jaejoong of dbsk or some imposer but the link came from naver so it must've meant something~ (i don't actually know how naver operates in korea, is it like yahoo and google?) even if it's just their staff experimenting the site, but still it can mean one step closer!! hahahaaa~ anyways it was fun to see how jaejoong oppa (if its actually him~) struggled with his english.. he also mixed korean and japanese here and there and the other members are there too.. but i just think yunho's english was too good so i started to think something was not right.. however yoochun deleted his account! hmmm.. anyways here are their links~ <3

herojaejoong - jaejoong
MaxChangmin - changmin
dolphinking - junsu
TVXQUKnow - yunho
TVfXQMYC - yoochun

some part of me said that these are true accounts and they will disappear once twitter gets more users. some part of me said that these are all dreams come true aka imposters.. hahahaa~ well, whatever. lets learn sociology!!! -being random.. -_-

Labels: dbsk, herojaejoong, maxchangmin, mickyyoochun, Spazz, twitter, uknowyunho, xiahjunsu

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